Post by Werecaster on Jul 10, 2017 0:40:45 GMT -6
The contracts have been drawn and wills have been signed, the legendary brutal C.R.I.P.P.L.E.D has been relaunched!
The Bloodthirsty, Greedy and Foolish have come in droves from all corners of the world, The Lizardmen march forth from their lush jungle kingdoms of Lustria to the Holymen of Brettionia, all come to test their luck and might.
Today we have the have the representative's of Nurgle himself, The Walking Wounded lead by Kallisti Maya!! Lead onto the field by Pink Eye, alas due to a early incident with their pet Spot, the fans seem to be in riot, throwing insults and curse's at them and even a goblin!
Their Opponents today are the holy knights and their retinue of the team "The Knightly Puns!!!" led by former two time C.R.I.P.P.L.E.D Cup Winner Werecaster!
Rumour has it Brettionian King Mallobaude payed a hefty "Donation" in order to lure Werecaster to Coach one of his two teams to which Werecaster Graciously accepted.
The Coin flip has been won by Sir Punsalot of The Knightly Puns who has elected for his team to take the field on offense and offence against the foul children of nurgle!
The ball has been kicked and the fans are cheering for the blood of Spot, the Walking Wounded's Beast of nurgle!
The Knights of the holy kingdom of Brettionia, not one to go against the Crowds wishs nor their Coachs who wishs the same, they charge for the disgusting beast in a bid to try and open the side of the field for Sir Fly Flyer to get the ball free, Alas Coach Kallisti quickly catchs onto the plan and promptly repostions to shore up the gap before the Noble men of Brettionia are able to take advantage of their hard fought opening.
Not to be dissuade Sir Fly Flyer and Sir Holynot along with a retainer and 2 peasants attempt to rush the opposing side of the field while their heroic comrades tie up Spot and 2 of the disgusting warriors of nurgle along with the majority of the rotters, Alas once again Kallisti is quick to the punch and manages to block of the advance again!
Sir Fly Flyer seeing that they will not be able to break through as easy as they were hoping pulls back down the field in hopes of luring the disgusting sons of nurgle further in order to weaken their defences!
Suddenly as if game has been set into overdrive Sir Holynot is surrounded by the Pestigor Lyme Disease, Nurgle warrior Acid Reflux and the Rotter Gout in order to destroy all chances of him trying for a fast play, luckily his Retainer and the Peasant Fat Albert quickly come to reinforce him in taking down Lyme Disease with a mighty 2 handed blow to the head giving him a serious concussion he won't be getting over anytime soon!
Seeing the Down fall of their team mate The Walking Wounded Captain spurs his team into a savage frenzy, knocking 4 noble Peasants out cold, The Nurgle Warrior in a frenzy seeing the Retainer Nobrainer, trying to cover Sir Fly Flyer, goes for a quick jab to get the Retainer outta the way, but seeing a chance the Retainer Nobrainer Goes for a devastating headbutt to Ingrown Toenails neck instantly snapping it and killing him!
Sir Fly Flyer not letting Nobrainers act of heroism go to waste quickly yells for his fellow knights to spread out in preparation for for a break, The Nurgle Warrior Twisted Ankle seeing Sir Fly Flyer distracted goes for a blitz to try and take the ball, but living to his name at the last second his ankle gives! sending him crashing at the feet of Sir Fly Flyer, Sensing the sudden balance of game tipping in his team favour Coach Werecaster shouts for Sir Punsalot break for it and get ready to receive!
Doing as he is told Sir Punsalot Shoulder charges the Rotter trying to hold him in place before breaking free of its grip, but not before throwing some holy water in its eyes!
Seeing Sir Punsalot finally making a opening in the Walking Wounded's Iron tight defence, he lives up to his name and FLYS!
Breaking past the rotter still reeling from the holy water in the eyes before making a beautiful pass to Sir Punsalot!
Seeing their chance Sir Punsalot's fellow team mates quickly move to cover his dash for the td, managing to knock out 2 rotters!
Seeing their chance of stopping The Knightly Puns from scoring the Walking Wounded quickly turn to taking revenge for their fallen comrade promptly taking down The Retainer Nobrainer and proceeding to try and end his life with a mass foul, luckily for him the Ref quickly see this and sends one of the Rotters of the field for instigating the foul, oblivious to the the Knightly Puns doing the exact same thing to Spot behind said refs back before scoring!
First Half Over! Score Knightly Puns 1-0 Walking Wounded
Second Half begins, with the majority of The Knightly Puns peasants and retainer recovering from the Knock outs, alas for the Walking Wounded only one of their knocked out Rotters decide to come back to the field leaving them in a crisis of a 10 vs 7, deciding the time for the drastic measures was neigh Kallisti order his team into a strong receiving position, But to his dismay the kick falls short!
Landing on the very middle of the pitch lines just in bounds, Kallisti quickly shouts for his team to recover and defend the ball!
Acid Reflux Charges to defend to the ball, two of the holy knights to disgusted by his presence refuse to attack him leaving it to one of their retainers who is barely able to push him back, this gives the Walking Wounded enough time to charge over to help defend the ball!
Pink Eye seeing his chance manage's to blind the poor Peasant Morgan Slavemen, before promptly crushing his ribs in, if that was worse enough screams of utter agony promptly followed as Morgan Slavemens Faith in the protection in the Lady was tested and was found wanting as he was then rapidly consumed by Nugles Rot!
The Peasant Little Wayne distracted by his comrades screams of agony was unable to see the crushing blow of the Beast of Nurgle Spot coming and was promptly sent flying to crash into the stand with his chest torn and a large lump on his head for his efforts.
Seeing his comrades go down Sir Punsalot Bravely charges Pink Eye proceeding to knock him down and onto the ball scattering it behind him!
Seeing his chance Sir Punsalot grabs it and bolts for the td line, a rotter seeing him making a break for it bravely trys to stop only to be knocked down!
But the Brettionians thinking their td asured, celebrate to early, decided to try and add insult to injury the braves knights once again try to take down the the Beast of nurgle known as Spot again, Alas Sir Steelalots Courage was tested and found wanting, Spot thinking Sir Steelalot is trying to play with him proceeds to knock the poor fool out cold!
Sir Punsalot distracted by his comrades disastrous block fails to notice the rotter getting back up and lunging at him until he feels the grasping hands of the crowd promptly pummelling him into unconsciousness.
Coach Werecaster in a fury shouting obscenity at the Brettionians for their foolish mistake tells them to stop those rotters from having any chance of getting that ball downfield or don't bother returning to the dugout!
The Brettionians in a frenzy to stop all the rotters, alas the Coach Kallisti sensing a chance plays a great defence stopping the Brettionians from breaking free!
The Rotter is just feet away from the TD line!
He is about to score!
THE WHISTLE HAS BEEN BLOWN!
......
.....
...
NO TOUCH DOWN!
The poor rotter was a foot away but alas was just to slow, the game has gone to the Brettonians!
Unfortunately the Brettonians are not looking happy and Coach Werecaster glaring at them fit to murder!
Thats all folks!
Till next time!
The Bloodthirsty, Greedy and Foolish have come in droves from all corners of the world, The Lizardmen march forth from their lush jungle kingdoms of Lustria to the Holymen of Brettionia, all come to test their luck and might.
Today we have the have the representative's of Nurgle himself, The Walking Wounded lead by Kallisti Maya!! Lead onto the field by Pink Eye, alas due to a early incident with their pet Spot, the fans seem to be in riot, throwing insults and curse's at them and even a goblin!
Their Opponents today are the holy knights and their retinue of the team "The Knightly Puns!!!" led by former two time C.R.I.P.P.L.E.D Cup Winner Werecaster!
Rumour has it Brettionian King Mallobaude payed a hefty "Donation" in order to lure Werecaster to Coach one of his two teams to which Werecaster Graciously accepted.
The Coin flip has been won by Sir Punsalot of The Knightly Puns who has elected for his team to take the field on offense and offence against the foul children of nurgle!
The ball has been kicked and the fans are cheering for the blood of Spot, the Walking Wounded's Beast of nurgle!
The Knights of the holy kingdom of Brettionia, not one to go against the Crowds wishs nor their Coachs who wishs the same, they charge for the disgusting beast in a bid to try and open the side of the field for Sir Fly Flyer to get the ball free, Alas Coach Kallisti quickly catchs onto the plan and promptly repostions to shore up the gap before the Noble men of Brettionia are able to take advantage of their hard fought opening.
Not to be dissuade Sir Fly Flyer and Sir Holynot along with a retainer and 2 peasants attempt to rush the opposing side of the field while their heroic comrades tie up Spot and 2 of the disgusting warriors of nurgle along with the majority of the rotters, Alas once again Kallisti is quick to the punch and manages to block of the advance again!
Sir Fly Flyer seeing that they will not be able to break through as easy as they were hoping pulls back down the field in hopes of luring the disgusting sons of nurgle further in order to weaken their defences!
Suddenly as if game has been set into overdrive Sir Holynot is surrounded by the Pestigor Lyme Disease, Nurgle warrior Acid Reflux and the Rotter Gout in order to destroy all chances of him trying for a fast play, luckily his Retainer and the Peasant Fat Albert quickly come to reinforce him in taking down Lyme Disease with a mighty 2 handed blow to the head giving him a serious concussion he won't be getting over anytime soon!
Seeing the Down fall of their team mate The Walking Wounded Captain spurs his team into a savage frenzy, knocking 4 noble Peasants out cold, The Nurgle Warrior in a frenzy seeing the Retainer Nobrainer, trying to cover Sir Fly Flyer, goes for a quick jab to get the Retainer outta the way, but seeing a chance the Retainer Nobrainer Goes for a devastating headbutt to Ingrown Toenails neck instantly snapping it and killing him!
Sir Fly Flyer not letting Nobrainers act of heroism go to waste quickly yells for his fellow knights to spread out in preparation for for a break, The Nurgle Warrior Twisted Ankle seeing Sir Fly Flyer distracted goes for a blitz to try and take the ball, but living to his name at the last second his ankle gives! sending him crashing at the feet of Sir Fly Flyer, Sensing the sudden balance of game tipping in his team favour Coach Werecaster shouts for Sir Punsalot break for it and get ready to receive!
Doing as he is told Sir Punsalot Shoulder charges the Rotter trying to hold him in place before breaking free of its grip, but not before throwing some holy water in its eyes!
Seeing Sir Punsalot finally making a opening in the Walking Wounded's Iron tight defence, he lives up to his name and FLYS!
Breaking past the rotter still reeling from the holy water in the eyes before making a beautiful pass to Sir Punsalot!
Seeing their chance Sir Punsalot's fellow team mates quickly move to cover his dash for the td, managing to knock out 2 rotters!
Seeing their chance of stopping The Knightly Puns from scoring the Walking Wounded quickly turn to taking revenge for their fallen comrade promptly taking down The Retainer Nobrainer and proceeding to try and end his life with a mass foul, luckily for him the Ref quickly see this and sends one of the Rotters of the field for instigating the foul, oblivious to the the Knightly Puns doing the exact same thing to Spot behind said refs back before scoring!
First Half Over! Score Knightly Puns 1-0 Walking Wounded
Second Half begins, with the majority of The Knightly Puns peasants and retainer recovering from the Knock outs, alas for the Walking Wounded only one of their knocked out Rotters decide to come back to the field leaving them in a crisis of a 10 vs 7, deciding the time for the drastic measures was neigh Kallisti order his team into a strong receiving position, But to his dismay the kick falls short!
Landing on the very middle of the pitch lines just in bounds, Kallisti quickly shouts for his team to recover and defend the ball!
Acid Reflux Charges to defend to the ball, two of the holy knights to disgusted by his presence refuse to attack him leaving it to one of their retainers who is barely able to push him back, this gives the Walking Wounded enough time to charge over to help defend the ball!
Pink Eye seeing his chance manage's to blind the poor Peasant Morgan Slavemen, before promptly crushing his ribs in, if that was worse enough screams of utter agony promptly followed as Morgan Slavemens Faith in the protection in the Lady was tested and was found wanting as he was then rapidly consumed by Nugles Rot!
The Peasant Little Wayne distracted by his comrades screams of agony was unable to see the crushing blow of the Beast of Nurgle Spot coming and was promptly sent flying to crash into the stand with his chest torn and a large lump on his head for his efforts.
Seeing his comrades go down Sir Punsalot Bravely charges Pink Eye proceeding to knock him down and onto the ball scattering it behind him!
Seeing his chance Sir Punsalot grabs it and bolts for the td line, a rotter seeing him making a break for it bravely trys to stop only to be knocked down!
But the Brettionians thinking their td asured, celebrate to early, decided to try and add insult to injury the braves knights once again try to take down the the Beast of nurgle known as Spot again, Alas Sir Steelalots Courage was tested and found wanting, Spot thinking Sir Steelalot is trying to play with him proceeds to knock the poor fool out cold!
Sir Punsalot distracted by his comrades disastrous block fails to notice the rotter getting back up and lunging at him until he feels the grasping hands of the crowd promptly pummelling him into unconsciousness.
Coach Werecaster in a fury shouting obscenity at the Brettionians for their foolish mistake tells them to stop those rotters from having any chance of getting that ball downfield or don't bother returning to the dugout!
The Brettionians in a frenzy to stop all the rotters, alas the Coach Kallisti sensing a chance plays a great defence stopping the Brettionians from breaking free!
The Rotter is just feet away from the TD line!
He is about to score!
THE WHISTLE HAS BEEN BLOWN!
......
.....
...
NO TOUCH DOWN!
The poor rotter was a foot away but alas was just to slow, the game has gone to the Brettonians!
Unfortunately the Brettonians are not looking happy and Coach Werecaster glaring at them fit to murder!
Thats all folks!
Till next time!
